Sunday, June 15, 2008
To find out Singaporeans' views and opinions on the 'abandonment of old folks', we have posted a topic, titled, 'What are your opinions about the abandonment of old folks?' on sgForums. However, due to poor response, we challenged Singaporeans with a more personal and serious question, 'are you gonna dump (abandon) your parents into an old folk's home?'. There was an overwhelming response to that as Singaporeans not only answered but shared their opinions on abandonment. The responses were both positive and negative in some sense.
We have also found another topic in 'Just Talk Lah', a forum in STOMP (The Straits Times) titled 'will you send your parents to an old folks home?'. There were many views and opinions there as well regarding the abandonment of old folks.
Generally, most of the forum posts in both topic strongly disagreed to this matter, some stated that they might if they did not have a choice. There were few posts agreeing.
So what exactly did Singaporeans voice out?
Those who answered ‘YES’ complained that their parents had treated them very badly or had a lot of bad habits and are not willing to look after them. Some are fearful that taking care of their parents might take up most of the time they needed to work, socialize with their children or time for oneself. Some even went in further saying that they will dump them on the streets instead.
Here are some posts:
"DONT DUMP THEM. MAKE THEM BE BEGGARS."
“I will do that to my father but not to my mother! There are a lot of negative things about my father, so I choose to leave him to rot in Singapore whereas I will invite my mother over to USA to stay with me.”
"sadly to say...if they are gonna suffer in loneliness in the folks home...i rather pray they die faster......."
"sell them to thailand be limbless beggar"
Those who answered ‘NO’ reasoned that it was immoral and unjust to leave their parents in the care of an old folk’s home just because they were busy with their work and had no time for their parents. They are aware that it is their parents who raised them and helped them become what they are today and are very grateful.
These Singaporeans wrote:
"Why do we have to make an excuse that we are busy with our life and work? Aren’t our parents parts of our life too? I don’t believe putting your parents into an old folk’s home has no similarity as dumping your parents. I have seen many lies and empty promises. Well, you can make promises to your parents that you will visit them occasionally, but as time passes occasional visits could turn into yearly visits and yearly visits could turn into visits once in a blue moon.. Even if the child pays for his or her parents’ stay at the old folk’s home, to me it’s just bullshit, there is no point of paying up the bills if he or she doesn’t visit his or her parents. Eventually, he or she would stop paying for his or her parent’s stay and would cut contact with his or her parents."
“Oh no way will I abandon my mum and just leave her in the care of an old folk’s home! I will take great care of her and shower her with love and care. If it wasn’t for her, I would not be who I am today and I wouldn’t be a strong-willed and mature person that I am today. Without her, I am nothing. I am really grateful and thankful to her for being my pillar of support all these years.”
"hell no. its not like they abandon me when i was young, even if they do, i won't admit them to old folk's home too. think of some day ur own kids do that to you especially with the big changes in the society now."
Those who answered ‘MAYBE’ wrote in that they might leave their parents in an old folk’s home under certain circumstances. Some stated that it might not be too bad to place their parents in an old folk’s home as there would be someone taking care of them and the old folks would have each other to have a nice game of mahjong or have a nice long chat.
Here are some posts:
“I won’t… unless I am really forced by circumstances. Even then, I will definitely try my best to look after them.”
“It’s morally wrong to put your parents into an old folk’s home, but if you were to take a step into their lives, change your perception, you will realize that it’s not that bad. I would rather put them into one because there would be someone to look after them and there will be other residents to talk to, rather than letting them stay at home with nobody to talk to and there could be risk of losing both your home and parents.”
we have also interviewed some Singaporeans on their opinions on the abandonment of old folks face to face.
Labels: opinions
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